I started thinking about the year 2015 and everything that had to do with that year. One thing has stuck in my mind forever. Especially the spring and summer of 2015, when I realized that everything is not okey with me right now.
I was very tired and annoyed and did things and actions that I normally would never have done. I could bully close ones and frankly “pursue” them to get some kind of attention, even for a moment. This did not make me feel better either; it felt like I could be furious and angry without pause and without taking others’ feelings into account in the situation.
I did not know what was wrong with me and that further increased my anxiety.
I slept poorly at night and it naturally affected my own well-being and coping in a decisive way; I was always tired and felt really weird. I slept during the day and stayed awake at night, but the fatigue did not go away, on the contrary, it grew deeper and deeper.
I had lost weight and felt overall miserable. I had no appetite or desire for anything else either, for me it did not matter if the sun was shining or it was pouring rain. I had no zest for life or motivation for anything. I was on the verge of despair.
Until I got a message from a friend who wrote that they wanted to meet me. At first I immediately thought of refusing to meet because I did not want anyone to know in what condition I was then.
But somehow my friend made me get out of bed and go out, after they had first persuaded me a while.
Of course, I was unsure of how my friend and their family would treat me when I went to see them, but that turned out to be unnecessary. The meeting went well and for a long, long time I felt better than before, even though I did not tell my friend anything about how I was really doing.
They had been my saving angel, because after that meeting I felt a need to seek help for my situation and I found it and I was able to talk to a professional.
It made things easier because I knew I was being understood. Weeks and months passed and I felt that the help I received gave me the strength and courage to take on life in a new way. I survived this and I am grateful to my friend and the professional who helped me deal with the depression and overcome it.
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