Having a Friend Enriches Your Life

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A friend can be anyone you feel good with and want to stay connected to in some way. Often, it’s enough to share some common interests or topics of conversation. However, it can be difficult to find a friend who meets all your needs. Over time, an acquaintance or a casual friend can grow into a close friendship.

There are different types of friendships

• You can have school friends, hobby friends, or childhood friends.
• You might also have neighbors, online friends, or work colleagues.

Different friends bring different experiences, and some friendships are closer than others. Close friends are often called best friends. Some people we meet one-on-one, while others we spend time with in larger groups. A friend doesn’t have to be just like you, the same gender, or in the same life situation. A friend can be an elderly person, a neighbor, a relative, or a friend of a friend. What matters is that you have something in common.

Different kinds of friendships enrich life and broaden our worldview. The foundation of friendship is respecting others for who they are.

You can decide who you want to stay in touch with and what kinds of friendships you seek. Making new friends is often easier when you are open and willing to welcome different kinds of people into your life.

Friendship is Based on Reciprocity

A healthy friendship requires that both people are interested and willing to invest in the relationship. Friendship is built on mutual wishes, expectations, and actions.

It’s good to reflect on:

• How much and what you are willing to do to get to know others?
• How much time you are willing to give?
• What you expect from friends and friendships?
• Whether your expectations are realistic?
• How much effort you are willing to put into a friendship?
• Whether you are willing to share your thoughts and feelings, even if there is a risk of failure—do you dare to take that risk?

If a friendship involves bullying, power struggles, or if someone feels bad in the relationship, it may not be worth maintaining. It is important that both people feel good in the friendship. Both also have the right to end the relationship. A good friendship is based on mutual giving and receiving.

Difficulties in making friends can be caused by past experiences of bullying, shyness, or social anxiety. Many people wonder:

• Am I good enough to be a friend?
• Am I too weird or different?
• Does anyone care about me?

Believe in Yourself as a Friend

To make friends, you must first learn to believe that you are valuable, important, and interesting. If it feels difficult or even impossible to believe that someone could care about you or accept you as a friend, it’s essential to focus on building your self-esteem. You don’t need to try too hard to be someone you’re not—start by being yourself. Remind yourself that you are enough and worthy just as you are.

If you feel like you can’t move forward on your own, seeking professional help is a good option. For example, depression can make it harder to form and maintain friendships. Taking care of your mental health can often help in building and sustaining friendships.

A Friend Can Be Found in Many Places

Anyone can become a friend. Be brave and go to school, hobbies, or events that interest you. Show interest in others—greet people, make eye contact, and smile. A great way to approach someone is by asking for help or advice.

You can meet new people, for example:

• At school or student organisation events
• At events and hobbies that interest you
• Through acquaintances and relatives
• In your neighbourhood
• In online hobby groups or other online communities
• At church or other community gatherings
• During military service or civilian service
• At work or in volunteer activities

From Acquaintance to Friend

Friendship begins with acquaintance and develops gradually. When you recognize someone’s face, it becomes easier to start a conversation. If you want an acquaintance to turn into a friendship, it’s a good idea to suggest doing something together at some point. Some acquaintances may eventually become close friends.

Consider whether it feels easier for you to approach one person at a time or spend time in a larger group. If you prefer one-on-one connections, suggest meeting up individually. Most people appreciate when someone takes the initiative to reach out to them. Be brave and suggest doing something together.

Here are some ways to connect with an acquaintance:

Ask how they are doing and show interest—also share about yourself.

• Suggest studying together, going to the library, or working on a group project.
• Invite them to lunch or for a coffee.
• Ask them to go for a walk or exercise together.
• Invite them or a group of acquaintances to a student event, concert, or a new hobby.
• Ask them to visit your home—for coffee, cooking together, or watching a movie.
• If you have online acquaintances, you can reach out via chat or social media, or send a friend request. Once you feel comfortable, you can suggest meeting in person.
• Reconnect with old friends you have lost touch with. Ask how they are doing and let them know you’d like to stay in contact. Even after years apart, it’s possible to find common ground again.

From one meeting to the next

When you meet an acquaintance, be yourself. Talk about shared interests or your own hobbies. Ask about their well-being and thoughts. People often appreciate the opportunity to talk about themselves and feel valued when someone shows genuine interest.

At the end of the meeting, you can mention that you enjoyed spending time together and that you’d like to meet again. You could, for example, invite them to an event you were already planning to attend.

It’s often easier to maintain friendships when the time between meetings isn’t too long. If your suggested meeting doesn’t fit their schedule, stay proactive and propose another time. People can be busy, but most appreciate being wanted and invited.

Don’t get discouraged if an acquaintance doesn’t turn into a deeper friendship despite your efforts. The reason may have nothing to do with you—perhaps they have other priorities at the moment. You may have better luck next time or with another acquaintance. Focus on the positive and believe in your chances to build meaningful connections in the future.