Any kind of relationship, wether it be friendly or romantic in some way, requires a partner at the minimum. Finding the right one(s) is not always easy. However, you can usually find people that attracts you in places you like and enjoy. We are easily attracted to people who are like-minded, enjoy the same things and feel familiar. A common interest helps you get started. Different forms of love can be found at first sight, but also over a longer period of mutual time with someone. There is no right way or just one way to enter a relationship.
WHERE TO FIND THE COURAGE TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE?
Many people who have been single for a long time find it difficult and scary to get to know people. For some, getting to know people is easy, but deepening relationships can feel challenging. The fear of being rejected can be great.
Inexperience can make it even harder to take the initiative, increasing one’s feelings of insecurity. With little to no previous dating experience, it can be difficult to get to know others. However, getting to know someone and taking the initiative cannot be learned from books. Experience and practice through trial and error are often the best teachers.
Many people feel nervous and frightened about taking the initiative. Asking someone for a date or expressing your interest always carries the risk of being rejected. In many cases, it can feel more tempting to wait for the other person to take the initiative. However, there is a risk that the person you are interested in will not have the courage to approach you.
ONLY THROUGH INTERACTION CAN YOU GET TO KNOW SOMEONE
You don’t get to know a person just by observing them. You can’t know if you two would be a great fit and what they’re like in a relationship by observing them. On the contrary, observing someone for too long and admiring them from a distance can create illusions that are not true. In such cases, it’s easy to live in a dream world, and the threshold for taking the initiative can rise even further.
First dates do not always lead to a second date. Either party can come to the conclusion that they are not interested in the other person – including the person who proposed the date.
LEARN TO TOLERATE REJECTION
Having the courage to face rejection and failure is essential when getting to know people. You should also learn to tolerate rejection. The reason is not always anything to do with the rejected person; sometimes the timing is wrong, or the other person is in a relationship or has just broken up. Personal chemistries don’t always match, despite hopes.
The more often you have the courage to take a risk and express your feelings, the more likely you are to get a positive response at some point. Rejection can be caused by many things, not necessarily your behaviour. Getting turned down is not a sign of inferiority or worthlessness. Even when interest and attraction are not mutual, people are often touched by the fact that others consider them interesting.
DATES – BE YOURSELF
You can arrange to meet at a café, cinema, or restaurant, for example. Activities such as bowling, skating, or walking can release excessive tension.
Tips for dating:
- Dress neatly and appropriately for the date – choose an outfit that makes you feel at home.
- Get there early.
- Be polite and positive. Listen, nod, and be interested.
- Look the other person in the eye when you speak.
- Even if you can’t always think of something to talk about, smiling shows that you like the other person.
- Be yourself as much as possible. When you’re open about your interests and positive about yourself, you’re easy to like.
- You can think in advance about the questions you want to ask your date and how much you want to tell them about yourself.
- Remember that nerves are natural and show that the meeting is important to you.
- It’s important to be able to share something about your life, your interests, or your dreams. However, many people can be frightened if you open up too much in the first few meetings or share very profound things about your life. Balance is often found through experimentation and practice.
In some cultures, men are expected to pay for a woman’s share of the bill. In Finland, practices are more equal. On a date, both parties usually pay their share. If you wish, you can offer to pay for your date’s cost of the evening. Often, such an offer is received as a positive surprise. However, it is important to remember that paying does not oblige the other party to commit to the relationship.
TIPS ON WHERE TO FIND A PARTNER
A dating partner – and a relationship – can be found through friends or acquaintances. Friends of friends are usually worth getting to know, as they are more likely to have the same interests than complete strangers. So go to a party organised by your friends or go out with a group of friends.
You can find a partner through hobbies. Often, like-minded people can be found in places where you enjoy yourself. Through interesting activities, you can find common topics to talk about and fun things to do.
Visit places where the gender balance is weighted in your favour. If you’re looking for a man, you might want to think about where men spend their free time. A person looking for a woman can find out what kinds of events women tend to enjoy.
Attend events for students. There are many different clubs and activities for students to get to know and spend time with other students.
There are many different ways to find a dating partner. Use your imagination, get involved in new events, occasions, and activities. Trust yourself and your personality. There are many ways you can attract the attention of an interesting person. It’s enough to be yourself.
